Since we go where the rest of the media fears to tread, we got a hold of some of the transcripts of the HSI’s interview of Il’nn Omar’s family.
Interview Noor, Sister of Il’nn Omar.
HSI Officer. “Is Il’nn you’re older sister or younger sister?”
Sister Noor. “I’m not sure. It was a long time ago and I’ve moved on. I’m an author now.”
HSI Officer. “Was she born in 1981 or 1982?”
Sister Noor. “Eh, um eh… It’s a long time ago, like the 1980s. Who remembers? The 80s are like so over.”
HSI Officer. “Let me try this another way. When you went to school as kids, was Il’nn in the grades ahead of you or behind you?”
Sister Noor. “I told you it was a long time ago, like the previous century. Who remembers?”
Interview with Brother of Il’nn Omar and alleged husband Ahmed.
HSI Officer. “Do you remember your first wedding?”
Brother Ahmed. “Yes, sort of… It was a long time ago.”
HSI Officer. “When the Bride took off her Burka, did she look familiar?”
Brother. “Eh.. it was a long time ago. I really don’t remember it too well.”
HSI Officer. “Let me help you out here. Did it seem like you knew her from some place? Like the living room and the dinner table?”
Brother Ahmed. “Eh… eh… Maybe she never took the Burka off?”
HSI Officer. “Really?”
Brother Ahmed. “Eh.. Can I plead the 5th here?”
HSI Officer. “Is Somalia like Appalachia is here. You know, people marry their cousins, their Aunts, their brothers?”
Brother Ahmed. “I’ve never heard of this place Appalachia.”
HSI Officer. “Did you consummate the marriage? Were there any children?”
Brother. “Not that I know of. This was a long time ago. If there were any kids they’d be out on their own by now. Right?”
HSI Officer “Did you ever get that Green Card or was the whole marriage thing, just a bust?”
Brother “Jesus! I mean Allah. No, I never got that green card. The whole America thing didn’t work out for me, like it did for Il’nn. I got stuck in Britain, just like Harry and Meagan.”
Dicens simile factum est
Pro Bono Publico
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