NYHUUGGEE!

Tag: family

  • HisBubbaness R.I.P. ?

    Rumor has it that HisBubbaness’s health is failing and HerHillaryness is planning his funeral.  We kind of think HisBubbaness is planning it too.  Why would he be left out?  How could he be left out?  Well, we mean, other than being the belle of the ball.

    Is it only us or do you think that HisBubbaness has already sent DJT 45th and 47th POTUS the remarks he should make?  Do you think HisBubbaness has also written his own eulogy?  Will there be any great lines read at the service?  We mean will someone say something that people can remember HisBubbaness by?  Other than, you know what.

    That leads us to will Monica be at the funeral?  Of course she’ll be there, but will she sit somewhere inside, or will she be out in the street?  Will the WOWTMSM show images of her at the funeral?  Will other outlets?  We’re laying 4 to 5 on the former and taking no bets on the later.

    Get ready because this funeral will be on every outlet, in the same manner that the slow car chase with O.J. was.  If you don’t have streaming, or you haven’t saved your old DVD player, you won’t be able to watch anything else.  We think HerHillaryness will have a lot of hankies but no tears.  Monica on the other hand will have a lot of hankies and her tears will be there, for all to see.

    Will HerHillaryness write a book?  Yes!  Will Monica write a book?  Yes!  Will they both have the same title, My Life With Bill?

    Will Obama POTUS 44, and DJT POTUS 45 & 47 be laughing at HisBubbaness’s funeral, as they were at Jimmy Carter’s?  That’s them at the top of this column at Jimmy Carter’s funeral.  Let’s hope not.  And, let’s hope that rumors of HisBubbaness’s funeral planning, like initial reports of Mark Twain’s demise, are greatly exaggerated.

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  • The Needy

    62 year old Celebrity Chef Valentino Lucin robbed three banks in one day!  Thus breaking the Dalton Gang’s record of two banks in one day.  But better than the Daltons’ back in Coffeyville Kansas in 1892, the 62 year old Chef did not get all shot up.  He even got to hold onto the money for a while, till the Police tracked him down.  Why would he do this?  Well his big restaurant went bust, he went chapter 11 and then he couldn’t make the payments.  What do you do when you need a mortgage or a loan?  You go to a bank because that’s where the money is.  What if you’ve gone bankrupt and your credit score is like 399?  You got no credit.  You can’t borrow.  So now you know why the 62 year old Celebrity Chef, robbed the three banks.  He needed the money.

    Just in case you’re wondering what happened to the Daltons, well two of the brothers along with two of their cohorts were killed at the scene.  The last Dalton, Emmett got all shot up too.  But he survived his wounds, did his time and went on to be a early day Hollyweird Screenwriter.  Hooray for Hollyweird!

    And a Florida Nurse Alexis Von Yates was sentenced to two years in prison for having sex with her 15 year old stepson.  She and her stepson were watching a horror movie and they got scared.  Next thing they knew they were clutching each other.  Von Yates then explained to her stepson that she hadn’t had sex in two weeks and she was horny.  She also thought her husband who was at work wouldn’t be back till morning.  But the husband came home early and caught them in flagrante delicto.  The boy ran out of the room with his pants around his ankles.  Von Yates tried to cover herself but the deed was done.  She knew it was wrong, so she took the plea deal and got the two years.

    Now you may ask why would someone do something like this?  It’s beyond stupid.  The kid is 15 how is he going to keep his mouth shut?  Not to mention that by any standard, it’s immoral, illegal, incestuous, unconscionable.  So why?  Why?  But then Von Yates explained it best.  She was needy.

    Now we save prayer for really serious things but this is starting to get real serious and fast.  As we head into the NFL’s third week, both the New York Giants and the New York Jets are 0 and 2.  The Giants are facing the Chiefs who are also 0 and 2.  The odds of the Chiefs going 0 and 3 are not good.  The Jets are facing the Buccaneers and the Buccaneers are 2 and 0.  That’s not good either.  So like we said maybe praying is a little too strong.  Maybe hopes or well wishes?  No, 0 and 3 is too ugly to bear.  Let’s us pray.  Like it says at the top here.  This is about the needy.

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    Pro Bono Publico