Tag: books

  • Our Woman Of The Year 2025!

    That’s right Marjorie Taylor Greene!  Or  MTG as she is known.  Why her?  Well she ran for office like a whole bunch of times before she actually got elected.  We call that tenacious.  And she got elected riding a wave of emotion on just about everything and anything that was controversial.   She was all in for DJT  POTUS 45, 47  and MAGA!  Then she was all against DJT POSTUS 45 & 47!  And MAGA was no longer enough for her.  Then she quit.

    MTG also managed to increase her net worth from $700,000 to 25,000,000 in just two Congressional terms!  Yeah that’s right!  She’s now worth 25 million dollars!

    Take a bow MTG!  You touched all the bases and you are our WOMAN OF THE YEAR 2025!

    And yes, her leaving office is also commendable.  We hope a whole lot of elected officials of all parties, Federal, State and Local, follow her lead.  This could be the slippery slope, the country really needs.

    And the runner ups were…

    DJT 45 & 47 POTUS.  He’s orchestrated peace deals between Cambodia and Thailand, India and Pakistan, Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, Iran and Israel and Israel and Hamas and he should be our Man Of The Year!  But well… eh.

    The Jeffrey Epstein List.  Readers of this Blog know we give this award out to a Man, A Woman, whoever someone wants to be referred to, or a thing a ma jig.  This is the Thing A Ma Jig.  This Thing A Ma Jig refuses to die and refuses to rear it’s ugly head.  It’s resisted all kinds of court proceedings, proclamations of exposure by it’s victims and even acts of Congress.  But it’s out there.  Out there “where blue birds fly, where troubles melt like lemon drops and dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”

    For those of you who don’t recognize the lyrics, they are from. ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’*.

    Honorable mention: 31/ATLAS, the Alien spacecraft that did not stop by, Valentin Luchin the celebrity chef who robbed three banks in one day, Sydney Sweeny. Cassie Ventura and no, no Elon Musk this year or any other probably.  Rarely has any celebrity fallen from grace so far and so fast.

    Dicens simile factum est

    Pro Bono Publico

    * ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ Harold Arlen music and Yip Harburg lyrics.

  • The Next Great Late Night Show

    The Jimmy Kimmel show is back on the air!  Does that sound like there is a but at the end of that sentence?  Well there is.  Jimmy’s ratings are in the toilet.  While ABC might have forgiven him, it seems as if a whole lot of other people haven’t.  If he’s canned again well,  ABC will have to fill the slot withe something.  So here are some great ideas from our staff.

    1.  ‘Do You Want To Be A Billionaire?  An old retired CEO mentors a small group young men and women through the maze that is the Global Economy.  Then he sends them on their pathway to billionaire’s Ville, Where they might live next door to Elon Musk .  The old CEO plays both con man and Psychiatrist, as he counsels, advises and most of all gives encouragement to these young Lions.  We’re going to call this show ‘Don’t Worry, I got fired too. 

    2.  ‘I’ll Sue You’.  Celebrities, Politician and other assorted Pezzonovante square off in court over some slight.  Real or imagined.  It will be like Judge Judy with a few alterations.  One of which will be the payout is not confined to 10,000 dollars.  And unlike The Judge Judy Show, you, not Judge Judy, will decide.  Both litigants lay out their case and then just like Dancing With The Stars, you, the audience will weigh in.  You decide who wins and how much, regardless of what the litigants are asking.  And yes sports fans there are no limits.  This will be a sister show to ‘Don’t Worry, I Got Fired Too!’  The litigants here might become Billionaires.

    3.  ‘What Causes Autism’.  Doctors, Researchers, Moms and other assorted people who know nothing, give their opinions every week.  Just like in real life.  And, just like other Realty shows, once the season comes to a close, there will be final confrontations, cliffhangers and yes, disappointments.

    Dicens simile factum est

    Pro Bono Publico

  • One Came Running

    Chapter 1 continued

    Teddy sat back at his desk.  He could go back to his book about the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor.  It was quite an interesting take on the attack.  All his life Teddy had read history books or watched documentaries that told how it was this great victory for the Japanese and this horrible defeat for America.  But this guy’s take showed how the Japanese had sunk 4 Battleships, one Mine Sweeper and damaged another 12.  The ships that hadn’t been sunk were all repaired and back out to sea in a manner of weeks.  The Aircraft Carriers that they needed to cripple weren’t even there.  They were all out to sea.  So, the whole attack was an unmitigated disaster for Japan.  Which was kind of astonishing to Teddy Green. 

    The other fact that hardly got any mention in the other books he’d read was why December 7th?  Why not November or even January 1942?  The American embargo on their oil, meant that Japan was going to run out of oil by the end of 1941.  Their whole modern industrialized economy was going to come screeching to a halt.  They were about to go dead broke. 

    He thought about that for a moment.  It was all about the oil or the lack thereof.  Or the wealth that the oil let their economy, and everyone else’s economy produce.  He wondered for a moment if all wars weren’t fought over that.  Not oil but what it let a country produce, its wealth.  Had all wars been fought over that, wealth?  If the British hadn’t tried to collect taxes would the Colonies have ever started The Revolution?  And if some guy had figured out a cheaper way to pick cotton and tobacco than using slaves, would there have been The Civil War? 

    Food for thought but then he was just a clerk in a Housing Agency, and he hadn’t even been a history major.  No, his Major had been English.  So, what did he know? 

    There was only one other thing to do.  He opened his lower drawer and took out the instant coffee and the powdered creamer.  He didn’t want coffee and if he did, he would go downstairs to the coffee stand, not drink this crappy concoction.  He had no idea of drinking it, so he just spooned in enough of the coffee and the creamer to make a half a cup. 

    No, he’d make a coffee because there was only one water fountain on this floor that had a hot waterspout.  So, he made his way over to it.  It was on the east side of the building where the offices looked out on the beautiful span of the Brooklyn Bridge.  In fact, this row was so good that their Assistant Commissioner had her office at the far corner of that row.  The closer you were to the Assistant Commissioner’s office indicated how important you were to this Division. 

    The hot waterspout was diagonally across from one particular office that was seven offices away from the Commissioner.  But its nearness to the Assistant Commissioner’s office didn’t matter to Teddy Green.  What was important about this office was that its occupant was the very beautiful, no more than beautiful, the stunning Marie Livette Henri.  She was five foot eight inches tall, and she weighed 130 pounds, and she had curves in all the right places.  She had the most beautiful coffee, colored skin tone anyone could ever wish for.  Even though she was forty-eight years old, she still hardly even needed any makeup.  Her hair was naturally just slightly curly, light brown and hung down to her shoulders.  She was Haitian so she was always impeccably dressed.  And, she had that slight French accent which also got men all steamed up.  And, if Teddy could just catch a glimpse of her, it would make his last hour livable. 

    Of course, he did not want her to catch him gawking.  That was not a good idea.  So, he kept his head down as he let the hot water run into his cup.  Her door was open, and he just gave a quick look, a glance, a peek really.  He could see some guy go rushing in the door like he had something important to talk to her about.  But Teddy knew better.  Men were always doing that.  Going into her office over one pretense or another.  Like Honeybees drawn to a beautiful flower, hoping.  When a man was foolish to actually ask her to go to lunch, she would just hold up her left hand with the wedding ring on it. 

    But then the men wouldn’t really mind when she said no.  They just wanted to be in the presence of a beautiful, stunning, impeccably dressed woman.  Even though they got shot down, they went out more intoxicated than when they went in.  It was the Honeybees and the flower thing.  Teddy couldn’t blame them he’d done the same thing himself. 

    Of course, Teddy knew she wasn’t married.  She’d been divorced for years.  She only kept the ring on so she could turn men down gently. 

    But he did catch a glimpse of her.  The side of her head, the curve of her neck and her light brown hair falling gently on her shoulders. 

    When Teddy got back to his desk, he sighed as he sat down.  The only difference between him and the other Honeybees was that at a little before four o’clock, just when he was getting ready to leave, the phone on his desk would ring.  He’d pick it up and on the other end would be the slight French accent and the voice of the beautiful, stunning Maire Livette Henri.  Then they would figure out if they were going to get some kind of takeout or if one of them, usually him because he would be home first, was going to cook something for dinner. 

    Read the rest at Amazon: don frankel one came running 

     

  • One Came Running

    Novella     One Came Running  By Don Frankel

    “And when Jesus had gone forth into the way, one came running and kneeled and asked him.  “Good teacher what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 

    Mark 10:17 

    Chapter 1     The Unit

    Teddy Green leaned back in his chair and watched Zvi Mordeci or Zvi the Avenger as Teddy had named him and thought that today, could be the day.  The day that Zvi the Avenger, just lost his nut. 

    Most people in their unit thought The Professor might lose it first but then Teddy had inside knowledge and knew that The Professor already had a meltdown.  The Professor was medicated now.  No, Teddy had his money on Zvi. 

    Zvi had dark, curly, red hair that was receding in a prominent widow’s peak.  It was the kind of hair that was hard to comb so Zvi just kept it slicked back and not too long.  Zvi also had a pencil thin mustache and very fair skin.  The kind of skin that would sunburn easily.  Teddy figured Zvi was about five feet ten inches tall but that was hard to be sure because Zvi was always leaning over forward, almost like a crouch.  It seemed to help Zvi when he walked because he always walked as quick as he could and then the crouch resembled a sprinter in motion.  But Zvi stayed that way in that crouch, even when standing still.  In the little over a year that Teddy knew him, he might have seen Zvi stand up straight maybe five or six times.  So, Zvi’s actual height was just an estimate. 

    One thing that wasn’t an estimate was the thing that made him, Zvi the Avenger, and that was the object of Zvi’s seething rage.  And, that object was the woman who had been his wife.  Her name, Zvi never mentioned. She was just that woman who was designated with a string of curses that either started with “bitch” or a string of curses that ended with “bitch”. 

    And, as Zvi would announce with one finger pointed to the sky.  “The day would come…”  What day and when, another mystery.  As Zvi would stop right there nodding his head up and down and then a little smile would spread across his lips, turning his mustache up into an almost comical curve.  No, it was more rueful, no, rueful and comical. 

    What had she done?  This modern-day Jezebel?  Well, they all found that out on their first day together nine months ago.  Of course, Zvi did not mention her when they first met that morning because the meeting of their little group was headed up by their Director Michael McMullen a tall, thin man with a slight paunch that came from sitting behind a desk for years.  His once blond hair was almost all gray now.  But he still carried an air of authority about him as he had supervised programs and people for most of his adult life.  Teddy had known him or of him since he had first started working for the Agency.  And Teddy knew McMullen’s problems, but he still liked him.  Teddy liked him because despite his problems, McMullen was always a Professional.  Also, present was their Deputy Director Arthur White Aka the Professor, so Zvi knew better. 

    That first meeting was held in the big conference room with the big windows, that looked out onto City Hall Park, and you could see the World Trade Towers clear across that park.  The funny thing Teddy always thought was he would see the Towers whenever he walked out of the front of the building, and they loomed over everything around them.  They were about a quarter a mile away and yet they would just sit there looking somehow, close.   So close, it seemed as if he could just reach out his hand and touch them. 

    But somebody must have had big plans for their little group or more likely there just wasn’t anyone needing the big conference room that morning.  They were handed different pamphlets on Accounting and Auditing.  Michael McMullen talked quite a bit about how important an Audit was.  Then how, there were going to be training sessions for the next two weeks conducted by an Accountant/Auditor from Price Walters and Jones. 

    After lunch they found the large conference room was in use and their Director Michael McMullen was in a meeting.  The Deputy Director Arthur White told them to meet in the smaller conference room near their new desks as if he would be in there soon.  But then Arthur White soon to become The Professor never showed up.  So, there were no authority figures just Teddy Green, Mimi Hersch, Nicholas Tafaro and Zvi Mordeci about to become Zvi the Avenger.  And there wasn’t even a table there that day for some reason.  So, they were just sitting in a circle, almost like it was group therapy or some Kumbaya meeting when Zvi cleared his throat and, said. 

    “She…” 

    And Teddy swore he had that rueful comical smile on his face or was that something that was in his memory now because he had seen it so many times since.  But Zvi started off calling her She.  She was not the bitch as yet.  That would come later. 

    So, Zvi started with “She…”  and then he went into his tale of woe.  Since Zvi was an Accountant Teddy liked to think of this tale as an addendum to the Canterbury Tales.  This one, The Accountant’s Tale.  But Zvi started off slow, his voice almost in a whisper at how he had come home after work like he did every day.  How he put his key in their apartment door that opened into the living room and then when he opened that door, the living room was completely empty.  Everything was just gone.  All the living room furniture, the pictures and paintings on the walls, the drapes, the carpet, just all gone.  Even the wood parquet floors were mopped and spotlessly clean. 

    For a brief, moment Zvi thought he’d walked into an empty apartment.  That was not unreasonable because his parents owned the building, and he was also the Handyman, the Porter and the Renting Agent for the building.  So, he could have the keys to a vacant apartment.  He even looked at his key ring, and it said 4C.  But he still couldn’t believe it, so he went to the front door and checked.  The door said 4C.  He lived in 4C.  Then he wandered through the empty apartment, the kitchen, the two bedrooms and the bathroom, nothing, not even any dust on the floor.  It was as if some evil force had swept through his life leaving nothing in its wake.  It was all swept clean.  She had left and taken everything, everything. 

    The only thing he could find was a note tapped on the bathroom mirror.  He did not tell them what was on the note.  No one dared ask as Zvi was upset enough, and everyone figured it was just some kind of goodbye. 

    Then Zvi put his head down and just shook it.  He looked as if he might even be crying.  Everyone just felt terrible for him.  Mimi even reached over and patted his shoulder.  No one knew what to say. 

    They all felt really, bad for him and that lasted two days.  Till Mimi got the rest of the story from someone who knew Zvi from his neighborhood.  And Mimi had found out that incident had happened just the way Zvi had told it, but it had happened fifteen years ago.  The wife had remarried and had a son who was about to have his Bar Mitzvah. 

    Of course, the first day Zvi had not spoken of revenge that would come later in his many retellings of the tale.  She or the “bitch” as she would become had not only taken everything, but she’d maligned him, belittled him ruined his good name and reputation. 

    Mimi explained that too.  Zvi and his wife came from some small Orthodox Sect in Brooklyn, and his wife needed a religious divorce.  Something that couldn’t be obtained without some claim of adultery or some other old, classic reason for the dissolution of a marriage.  So, the wife had made those claims.  And, they had only been married for a year which as Mimi pointed out wasn’t much in the marriage department.  In fact, it was just a little more than going steady.  Mimi had also found out what was on the note.  Just one word. 

    ‘Whoremaster.’ 

    Then Mimi added. 

    “Okay I get it what she did was nasty.  I could see him being upset for a couple of years.  I’ll even give him two years, maybe four max but fifteen?  Time to get over it.  Time to move on.” 

    Mimi had said that when it was just Teddy, Nick and herself having lunch in their conference room that now had a table, and they had all laughed.  And Mimi had also discovered one other thing about the bitch, her name.  It was Miriam.  And, that kind of took the edge off the stream of adjectives that ended or began with “bitch”.  Because Miriam, well everyone had an aunt or a neighbor named Miriam and most probably, no one ever met a woman named Jezebel or “bitch”. 

    Of course, he was still not Zvi the Avenger that came a few weeks later after another retelling of The Accountant’s Tale.  It was just Teddy, Nick and Zvi this time.  It was Teddy and Nick because they were checking on a company, and they had gone to this aluminum bookcase that had all the phone books in it and that bookcase was twenty feet behind Zvi’s desk. 

    Zvi took the opportunity to go into another rendition of The Accountant’s Tale.  While Zvi did talk about other things, like work and the building his parents owned, he could just jump into The Accountant’s Tale at the slightest provocation.  This time had to have been the two dozenth rendition of The Account’s Tale.  Zvi had also expanded the inequity of it all to include the things she did in the marriage.  Like when she decided no more sex.  What was he supposed to do?  Then there were the lies, the slander, the defamation of his character.  And then of course, “The day would come…”  And, then Zvi broke into that rueful, comic smile with his hand pointing towards the heavens. 

    Teddy couldn’t help it he had always been a wise guy who usually had something smart to say.  So, he just couldn’t help but ask. 

    “Hey Zvi when you were married did you like maybe do something wrong?  Like maybe just one thing, one little thing.” 

    At which point Zvi turned purple with rage.  He stood up, went over to the bookcase, raised his hand over his head and then making a fist, he slammed that fist, down onto the bookcase.  The blow made a loud thud as the metal bent under the blow, leaving a two-inch dent in the top of the bookcase.  Then Zvi exclaimed. 

    “I am not an Adulterer!  I am not a Whoremaster!”  

    Then Zvi grabbed his hat off his desk and ran out of the building. 

    Both Teddy and Nick were so shocked they ran into Mimi’s office, shut the door and told her what happened.  There was a moment when they were all shocked and genuinely frightened.  Then Nick decided to show Mimi, and he stood up, shaking his head up and down trying to show how angry Zvi had been.  Then Nick raised his hand above his head, made the fist just like Zvi had and then brought it down on the table.  But he wasn’t going to hurt himself, so he slowed it down and just let it land on the table without any force.  But then he let his body bounce up and down conveying the force of the blow.  Then Nick announced in a harsh, emphatic whisper that gave the impression of a yell. 

    “I am not an Adulterer.  I am not a Whoremaster.” 

    Then all three of them started laughing hysterically.  Maybe it was the term Whoremaster as they all knew that was on the note.  Maybe it was just from the stress of having to listen to Zvi over and over again.  But for the next ten minutes they were just laughing helplessly. 

    Of course, they all knew that Zvi wasn’t going to actually do anything.  He hadn’t done anything but harangue other people for fifteen years.  It was all just bluster from some middle-aged Accountant. 

    But Teddy began to think at that point that a man with that much rage all bottled up in himself might just have a real meltdown.  That’s when Teddy gave him the title, Zvi the Avenger. 

    Then they all laughed some more. 

    And today just might be the day because Teddy could see Zvi’s mouth moving, his head nodding and his hands making gestures to an unseen God.  A God Teddy realized, who for the last sixteen years, just wasn’t listening. 

    Read the rest at Amazon don frankel one came running.

  • Who’d A Thunk It?

    James Comey former Director of the FBI or as we like to call him, J. Edgar Comey, is facing an investigation by Congress and he might even be a subject in a Grand Jury proceeding.  But he’s unbowed and defiant.  He finds solace and strength in…  No, not what you’re thinking, as that was what we were thinking, Jesus.  No, no, he finds strength and solace in Taylor Swift and her music.  We’re not sure but maybe it’s the lyric.  “We are never ever getting back together.”  Or it could be.  “Look what you made me do.”

    We’re sure she’s flattered.  And, we hate to be the ones who tell J. Edgar Comey this but…  You’re no Travis Kelce!  Hell, he’s not even J. Edgar Hoover.  No one ever dared, to investigate, J. Edgar Hoover.

    And Hillary Clinton, HerHillaryness herself, has said that Donald John Trump POTUS 45 & 47 should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, if he can arrange a peace treaty between Ukraine and Russia.  We’re trying to find out if anyone ever called for Hitler to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Hitler was Time Magazine’s Man of the Year in 1938, so that might not be so far fetched as it may sound.  So far as we know, Hitler was never nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize but someone prominent, like HerHillaryess in that time period, might have called for it.  Why would someone have done that you ask?  Well something like Hitler called off the invasion of England for one.  Then when he withdrew his troops from North Africa.  Now we can’t find where anyone like HerHillaryness mentioned Hitler for the Nobel Peace Prize, but if anyone out there can, please let us know.

    Are you delulu?  Odds are if you are, you don’t know it, as it means delusional.  Now this could be skibidi which means bad or cool or nothing.  All of this we hope makes you insopo, which is inspired to go and do something because of something you saw on the internet, like this article.  What are we talking about?  Well these are all new words entered into the Cambridge Dictionary.  These words come from Tik Tok, other social media and the internet.  And these words, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, are changing our world.

    Now some people are stunned that the Cambridge Dictionary would put such silly words in their tome when no one will even remember them by next spring.  The Cambridge Dictionary is produced by Cambridge University founded in 1209 and it is one of the oldest and most revered Universities in the world.  How could they do such a thing!  Well we think, the whiners and complainers here are just skibidi or maybe even delulu.  They are most definitely not insopo.

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  • The Job

    Elon The Richest Man In The World and Donald Trump POTUS are feuding!  OMG!  It could even be double OMG or as readers of this column know it as OMG!! which is the absolute end of it all.  But that’s only if it is real.  Right now it seems too much like the WWE.  Maybe it will end with Trump hitting Elon over the head with a folding chair.  Maybe it will end with Elon writing a book ‘My Struggle’ detailing how he was humiliated and denigrated during his tenure at the White House.  How Trump is a meanie and how Elon endured the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”.  Then again, there has been a whole lot of those books and it might not sell at all.  Better to go with the folding chair over the head.  If they do it right, Elon won’t feel a thing.  If they do it wrong, it will only hurt Elon’s head.  His ego will be intact.

    BTW this all begins when Elon loses his job as the head of D.O.G.E..

    Then there is Karen Jean-Pierre she was Old Brains Biden’s Press Secretary.  She’s writing a book about how she is no longer a democrat but an Independent.  That’s the name of her new book, ‘Independent’.  And ‘Independent’ will tear the cover off the Old Brains Biden Administration, supposedly.  Some have speculated that there is no way she could have written a 300 page book between election night 2024 and now.  There isn’t enough time.  That presupposes that she wrote it.  We mean there are a whole lot of books out there with authors names on them that were written by someone else.  So maybe someone else started writing it as a plan B.  Plan A was Old Brains or Harris wins and she still has a job.

     And many of you may be wondering why a 41 year old Aaron Rogers signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers, for one more season.  We mean he’s a multi-millionaire and a shoo in for the Hall of Fame once he retires.  His last two seasons due to age and injury were nothing to write home about.  So why?  Why risk a season of mediocrity after so much excellence?  Why risk painful injury more prevalent with age?  Why?  

    Well, he’s an NFL  Quarterback and now he has a job.  And as we know now, it’s the job.  It is always the job.

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  • All Good Things…

    We can file this under all good things come to an end.  So, it’s goodbye to RHONY after 22 seasons.  That’s the Real Housewives of New York.  This show was a cultural phenomenon and a game changer.  It started off simple enough, a group of New York City Housewives and their daily lives.  But then the Housewives started screaming at each other and calling each other names.  Little wars broke out among the Housewives.  This led to the creation of a lot of other groups of Housewives in other cities all over America and even in cities of other countries.  All, of whom engaged in the same antics.  The cry of “You disrespected me?” echoed through the land along with “Can I trust you?” and “I can’t trust you!”.  

    Then the phenomenon took hold, as people in other venues began screaming at each other and calling each other names.  They got disrespected and wondered if they could trust anyone.  People on opinion shows that had heretofore simply stated their different views, now began to call each other names and not so nice ones either.  Then this spilled over into regular news shows and Podcasts which went uncensored and the name calling really got hot.  Last but not least to pick up on this, were the Politicians.  And modern political theater became a series of insults thrown left and right.  Then the American people began to wonder, if they were being disrespected?  And could they, trust anyone?

    You may be saying, it’s not all fault of the Housewives!  And I like those shows!  We’re not laying all the blame at their feet and people who took up the call are responsible for their actions.  But historians, anthropologists and sociologists of the future, will certainly see the Real Housewives of here, there and everywhere, as the focal point, of when everything, began to circle the drain.  And a whole lot of previously good things, began their descent into the crapper.

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  • FUGGETTAABOUTTTITT!

    Not since Who Shot J.R. has there been so much anticipation over the release of anything like there has been over the release, of the remaining JFK files.  Oh wait, most of you might not remember Who Shot J.R.?  There was this TV show called ‘Dallas’ and J.R. was the mega rich, shady, double dealing character, who got shot in the last episode of a season.  Everyone had to wait till the next season to find out if J.R. lived and Who Shot J.R.?  ‘Dallas’ was the number 1, T.V. show back in the day, when that designation meant something.  Just about everyone in the country got into ‘Who Shot J.R., including people who never watched the show.  Betting on the question of ‘Who Shot J.R. grew rapidly and odds on the different characters in show, were set, just like it was the Superbowl.  Then office pools were set up as well.  Again, just like the Superbowl.  The betting was fierce and almost every office had a pool.  JFK, on the other hand, was the 35th President of the United States and he was assassinated in Dallas, no connection to the TV show, back on November 23, 1963.

    At first, we were told and most everyone believed, that the assassination of JFK was the work of a lone gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald.  But a few years later the conspiracy theories began and they haven’t stopped since.  We’ve always had our money on LBJ, who had been the Vice President but we’re not into conspiracy theories, so we’ve never printed that before.  But now, with the release of all the files, we know…  Well… nothing.

    And this after all these years of conspiracy theories on top of conspiracy theories.  Theories  like…  It was the C.I.A, the F.B.I, the Joint Chiefs, the Mafia, the Russians, Fidel Castro, Cuban Exiles, the Bay of Pigs survivors, the Watergate Burglars, All of the Above, Some of the Above and just about anyone else, you want to throw in there, like LBJ, our favorite.  And, even though there is nothing in this new release of the files, it won’t stop the conspiracy theorists.  It will just whet their appetites.  They will see conspiracy in any mention of the aforementioned cohorts and others we and you have forgotten about.  Hell, the conspiracy theorists will see conspiracies in the smudges and coffee stains, left on the documents.

    In the end, the President got assassinated.  Like it of not, everyone got over it.  Even Jackie his wife, who married a billionaire.  And, the rest of the Kennedys too, who went on to drive their cars, boats and planes into things just like they always did.  Rumor has it that they weren’t too good, with wagons and carts back in the old country.

    There is never going to be a note in any file that says.  ‘I shot the President from the Grassy Knoll.  Yours truly, Joe Meltzer.’  

    It’s going to be just like Who Shot J.R.?  Once everyone knew it was Kristen, his Sister-in-law/Mistress and all the bettors and the office pool winners were paid off, it was just one big FUGGETTAABOUTTITT!!!

    So everyone, just FUGGETTAABOUTTITT!!!

    Dicens simile factum est

    Pro Bono Publico

    P.S. J.R. survived getting shot and went on to be the shady, double dealing character for quite a few more seasons of ‘Dallas’.